Let me start by saying I think it’s absolutely RIDICULOUS that we’re even having these types of debates when we can focus on much important topics. I’ve been on both ends. I’ve recently started working part time and it’s just been so hard working and having to take care of the kids and still do all the other things I use to do.
Just because a woman decides to return back to work, doesn’t mean they’re abandoning their responsibilities as a mother. They are still mothers end of the day and still do so much more when they get home. Some families need both parents to work to financially afford everything and we all know having kids isn’t cheap.
And the same goes for stay at home mums, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies and it actually gets so depressing at times. Your life revolves around the kids which means between entertaining the kids, giving them breakfast/lunch/dinner, park time, showers and so on, you have absolutely no time for yourself.
I think the problem is we allow society to set this unrealistic picture of what a “perfect mother” should be and we allow that to get to us and we forever try to prove that we’re perfect without realizing being a mother is emotionally/mentally/physically so difficult already and we add to that even more pressure on ourselves. Who says a perfect mother needs to be a stay at home mother? Who says a working mother isn’t a perfect mother?
I was a stay at home mum for 4 years and it wasn’t always easy. I always looked at working mums and was kind of envious to be completely honest. While I loved being a stay at home mum, I missed working and having that “me” feeling. You get so consumed by taking care of the kids, you forget yourself. And of-course it’s only natural after you have kids, the focus shifts and it’s absolutely normal. I would start my day at 5/6am and it was breakfast – playtime – nap – lunch – park – snack – bubble bath – dinner – bedtime and repeat. For me it was the routine that got to me and at time that depressed me so much. And if you’ve been a stay at home mum you will know exactly what I mean.
When Adam and Hana started nursery, it felt so weird at first. I had 6 hours everyday to myself!! I didn’t know what to do! My life revolved around my kids and with free time, I kind of felt lost. It was only after a few weeks I started going out for coffees / breakfast and getting active again and it felt absolutely great.
It wasn’t still I started working part time that I truly understood there is no difference whether a mother works or stays at home, they’re both hard and requires so much from us. Trying to balance working and kids is absolutely a mission. Between drop offs, work, pick ups, play dates, school plays, hospital appointments, birthday parties; it just seems endless. It was then I developed a new sense of admiration for mums who work full time and are still mothers; still make dinner, prepare their kids lunch boxes, drop off/pick up kids and so on. I work part time and I struggle at times and at the end of each day, I am exhausted and wish there was more than 24 hours in a day!
Instead on focusing on what separates us, we should focus on what brings us together, our similarities. End of the day we’re all trying our best to give our kids the best future, raise them to be healthy and good kids. Does it matter if we’re working mums or stay at home mums?
Why try so hard to compete and prove one is better than the other?
What do you think of the debate between working mums and stay at home mums?