Where do I start.. when I held my baby boy for the first time I got knocked off my feet with indescribable feelings that only a first time father would understand. It’s almost like the rest of the world around you fades to black for that specific moment and you’re confused how it’s possible to have that much love and devotion for a person you met 5 seconds ago.
Alot of fathers tend to forget that moment from time to time with the frustration of work , life and their regular daily obstacles. It’s easy for that voice in your head to say “Pass him to mama” especially when your son just stomped you in the gut ( and I’m being courteous here), but it’s much more rewarding if you hang in there. Nothing can or will replace the mommy of the house but when you can step in to help, jump in with both feet. Fathers have alot more influence on their kids than they know and it’s important they fill in the gaps where mommy can’t.
Unfortunately alot of fathers miss that point and are worried about being portrayed in a way that’s less stereotypical as far as men and their responsibilities of the household go. There’s nothing wrong with loving your kids and showing it, so on the contrary to all the men who think that way stop being so shy and effeminate.. Embrace it.
“Researchers found that, overall, the love or rejection of mothers and fathers equally affects kids’ behavior, self-esteem, emotional stability, and mental health. But in some cases, the withdrawal of a father’s love seems to play a bigger role in kids’ problems with personality and psychological adjustment, delinquency, and substance abuse,” says study coauthor Ronald P. Rohner, Ph.D.
Having read that in an article, it made alot of sense. You might not have to look too far to see perfect examples of the research results. That’s why when I see initiatives like Desitin’s #EmbraceTheChange Challenge encouraging fathers to step up and embrace fatherhood, it’s good to see my views are already out there and awareness is on the rise. So kudos to them and I hope they go further.
I’ve been blessed with the opportunity of having business set up abroad so it’s easier for me than most fathers to seperate family time and work time. I’m not going to lie, I used to think I needed quiet time away from my kids for peace of mind when business was getting frustrating. Turns out it was quite the opposite.. My daughters beautiful smile or a wrestling session with my brute son was all I needed to get me back on track. Learn to love it and it won’t feel like work or frustration at all. It pays off when you see their faces light up when you’re back from a meeting, a business trip or even just walking in the room and you know exactly why. Baba’s home.
Lastly, a piece of advice to all the papas/babas out there. Even though discipline in general is our speciality.. Don’t rule your house with an iron fist , teach your kids in a calm manner what’s right and wrong and make them understand it , no matter how many times it takes, rinse and repeat. Patience will make you a better man as well as a father and you’ll find it easier to apply it to other areas of your life like your job for example.
Written By: Fahd B
Instagram : @DubaiFather